Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
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