Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
