Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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