She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
