can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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