what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
