whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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