Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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