this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
