Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
