Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize