You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
