Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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