Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
