I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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