I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
