You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
