My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
