He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Bring me that man meat
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
