it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize