I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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