Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize