Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
