capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize