and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
