Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis

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(408): View more from California

Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand

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(440): View more from Ohio

that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...

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(903): View more from Texas

u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?

(214): View more from Texas

Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...

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(716): View more from New York

Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen

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(307): View more from Wyoming

It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship

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