Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize