check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
