I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
