Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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