There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
