No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
