I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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