He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize