How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
