I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
