you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dicks are not precious.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
