im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
