forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
