She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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