She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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