Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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