Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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