I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
