I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
