Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's always time for handjobs
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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