question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
