need another drink. this is the easiest way
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
