That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
