I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
