the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
they're like a gay fantastic four
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
