the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
this is an emotional support booty call
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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