Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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