k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
