med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
