I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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