ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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