So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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