just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
