You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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