break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
foreskin is a definite game changer
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
